Of Weeds and Roza
by Tibbins
Summary: This is Dimitri's point of view on my previous fanfiction 'Of Weeds and Rose' I advise you check out that one before you read this or it will spoil the intrigue :D Please check it out and enjoy :D
1. Guard Duty

**Hello to all my 'Of Weeds and Rose' fans :) and if you are new to this story then welcome :D however if you are new, then you should probably read the origional or you won't get it because it gets quite complicated :)**

**I promised you all that I would write in DPOV so here is the first chapter**

**All characters belong to Richelle Mead**

**This chapter will be dedicated to my first reviewer and I shall mention you in the next chapter :)**

Dimitri's POV

Patrolling the border of the Academy, nothing was out of the ordinary, as usual. But I refused to let my guard down. The phrase 'better safe than sorry' was my motto.

Nevertheless; my thoughts strayed to Rose as I walked. I had left what she liked to call my 'duster' back in my room.

Rose had been slacking in her training for the past few days, she moved sluggishly, as if she really couldn't be bothered. I sighed, I was constantly thinking of her now, she was always there, with her cutthroat attitude and her protectiveness when it came to the Princess, constantly niggling at the back of my mind. It was occasionally inconvenient, whenever I was in a particularly boring Guardian meeting and the mental image of Rose voicing her opinions loudly was usually enough to make me crack a smile, and then I would be questioned on what I found so funny, but it was never unwelcome. It was times like this that I let the Rose part of my brain free to caper in my minds eye.

Yes. She had definitely been acting oddly lately. She hadn't been as sarcastic or opinionated in the classes I was in with her and I could tell Stan was starting to notice too. However it was normal enough for Rose not to be bothered in 'correcting' Stan.

It was still early; about 7 in the evening and the sun was still visible over the brick walls of the Academy.

I stopped to watch it sink absentmindedly, thinking of home; and of Rose.

How wonderful it would be to combine the two. Roza had been through so much; Victor, Natalie, getting kidnapped and losing Mason. I could tell that the latter still haunted her. I would love to take her to Russia, show her all the beautiful architecture that I grew up in. I could imagine the look on her face.

Maybe that's what has been bothering her lately. The funeral was only a week ago. She must still be dwelling on his death.

Typical Rose.

I think I had better keep her busy, she hates being idle. Maybe I could up her training a notch, make it more difficult so she has less time to think about things that may be upsetting her.

I shifted my weight. I know I was trained to stand all day without becoming uncomfortable but I was getting a dead leg. The sky was starting to gradually darken, and I knew it would turn from azure to navy in the next hour or so.

I checked my watch; Half past. Alberta would be sending a Guardian to come and relieve me around now, so I could get ready for Rose's training session at 8; I resumed walking to get to the exchange site as quickly as possible.

My replacement was Iosif Matinova, a tall, thickset man, who I was not overly fond of. He tended to be jealous and vengeful and he taught advanced combat for Novices.

He hated Rose with a passion. I had often caught him saying spiteful things about her. Never openly to my face of course, he was too cowardly for that, but he sometimes let slip a snide comment about her, he knew as did everyone, how protective I was of her, although he assumed it was because I was her mentor and I took my role as such very seriously and that I was proud of my student.

Which _is_ half the reason.

However the other half is that I have fallen for her. With her feral temper and her untameable wit; not to mention her beauty.

I thank the Gods for the day I dragged her reluctant form back to this place and I thank Kirova for appointing me as her mentor.

Oh yes, I've got it bad.

Unfortunately, Matinova felt like talking,

'So Belikov, you off to go and set up for your charity case?' I flexed my fists but gave no other outward sign that he bothered me.

'Oh dear' I retorted sarcastically 'did she beat you in combat class again?' his gaze hardened, giving me the smug satisfaction that I was right.

'Oh, so he does have a sense of humour' he said dryly 'have you been working on that joke for long?'

'I don't have to' I replied just as coldly 'you see I'm talented in a certain type of humour, it's spontaneous and it's called wit'

And with that, I turned on my heel and left Matinova glowering after me.

**So it begins. Let me know what you think so far :) I know it's slightly short but so was the first chapter in the Rose's POV so I can be excused XD.**

**Please review and let me know all your opinions about anything at all :)**

**Love you**

**Tibbins xx**


	2. Practice Session

**Hey :D Another update already hehe, I hope you enjoy :)**

**BTW my first reviewer was my 2 guys, Well done :D the last chapter was officially dedicated to you :D **

**This one is for MiSsY-MeL-183 because she is awesome and my second reviewer :D and it is also for my third reviewer talkygirl because these three reviewed in less than an hour after I had started the story :D Thats dedication hehe.**

**I don't own VA because otherwise these would be the actual books, not fanfiction :)**

**Enjoy**

Dimitri's POV

I decided to grab a book and my duster on my way to the gym, no doubt Rose would be late, and I knew she loved my coat, so I settled myself on the mats I had set out with five minutes to go, and began to read.

It was an old story, a book I had read many times yet never tired of. A typical Western where the hero had to rescue the fair maiden barmaid from the evil villain who had hidden her in an abandoned mine shaft, filled with traps and dynamite. In the end of course he prevailed and they all went down to the saloon to claim a whisky and the reward.

I was up to chapter 4 by the time Rose came in, I didn't notice her at first and it took a sarcastic comment to jerk me out of the Wild West.

'Hey Comrade, you know that book looks so abused I'm seriously gonna call social services on you' At first I just reacted to the sound of her voice, but the meaning of her words soon sunk in.

I shifted and looked up at her to flash a smile, so she'd know that her humour hadn't been wasted, and I did a double take,

'Rose? Are you alright?' I asked. Her usually olive complexion was pale and although it was a warm morning she had on a long sleeved black woollen sweater that I had seen her wear in the winter.

She laughed, but it wasn't genuine, I could tell, because it didn't reach her usually bright eyes, today, they were without their spark.

'Never better Comrade' she joked 'what moves are you showing me today?' she pushed her hand to the back of her head, through her dark waterfall of hair to where it was tied back, God I love her hair, and she pouted at me and fluttered her lashes, almost making me laugh, however, I contented myself with rolling my eyes and letting the subject go, if she was well enough to flirt then she was well enough to train. So I told her to run for 15 laps, not at many as usual, I didn't want her to faint or anything and then I resigned myself to say that I would run with her today. She really didn't look well and I didn't like to think of her collapsing outside without me knowing. If at all, really.

I left my jumper and my book, knowing that she would be too stubborn to protest lest I insist she go back to bed. So she just grumbled a 'Whatever' and I followed her out to the track.

It was a warm evening, the sun was setting beautifully, setting the clouds and the whole sky on fire, just letting the sparks of the stars through so they could be seen, there was also a light breeze that smelled like a mixture of cut grass and Roses unique scent, a smell of mint and cinnamon and fruit, sweet, with a sharp edge, that described her personality perfectly; and I breathed deeply as I jogged beside Rose, not too caught up in nature to notice that her lips were set in a thin line, as if she were struggling against something but wouldn't admit it, she relaxed slightly as we ran, but she was getting paler by the minute and although she tried to go on for a 16th lap, I held her back, grabbing her wrist, I let go almost immediately, her skin was icy cold, and she turned to look at me curiously.

'Jesus Rose! You're freezing!' I exclaimed, she shivered and gave me a _Tell me something I don't know _look.

'I'm fine' she said, a steely glint in her eye that said I wasn't to contradict her, as usual, I ignored it, a blue tinge was creeping up her flesh which was made more prominent by her now pale skin and her dark hair.

So I raised a hand to rest it on her cheek, refusing to wince at the unnatural coldness of her skin

'Then why have your lips gone blue?' I asked, only half rhetorically.

**So, is it going good? I hope so :D**

**Let me know if you think that I'm not portraying Dimitri's character properly, because I don't want him to come across as soppy, because he isn't soppy at all! **

**Thats why I love him ^^**

**Love you all**

**Tibbins xx**


	3. On the track

**Hey again :D my third chapter in a day, hehe I'm on a roll. However, they are all short but oh well.**

**Disclaimer applies**

**This chapter is for Leslie. What did you mean by finish my thoughts? Thanks for reviewing :D**

**Enjoy :)**

Dimitri's POV

I crossed my arms and straightened my back, hoping I looked stern and intimidating, not that Rose would let herself be intimidated, but she did look sheepish as she thought of something to say.

'Look Dimitri' she said at last 'It's nothing you need to worry about!' she flashed her dazzling smile, but the effect was marred slightly by the fact that her teeth were chattering; as if realising this, she flicked her hair back and gave me a haughty look, I sighed slightly but didn't say anything, I just stared at her, taking in her blue skin, the dark rings under her eyes, where she had obviously not been sleeping properly, and the occasional tremors that she tried to suppress, I sucked in a breath through my teeth, she looked so _vulnerable_. And that is not a word I would normally apply to Rose.

'Rose' I said, it was a warning; we both knew that it wasn't nothing.

'Fine!' She cried 'I'm cold, is that a crime?' then she looked down at the ground, so she didn't see me let down my mask for a second, I knew that tenderness must have shone out of my every pore, but she didn't notice, I shook my head, noticing the anger that I knew would come soon, so I tried to dispel it.

'Cold?' I said tilting my head, as if I didn't quite understand 'Roza, its August.' I spoke gently and her eyes met mine, the anger gone; I knew she loved me saying her name in Russian, almost as much as I loved saying it. I didn't say it often, but when I did, we both knew it meant more than just a name. It was like a beautiful glass ornament, it was lovely but overuse would break it.

She didn't look away from my eyes, I knew she saw more in them that I would like, but she found it fascinating. I had one of the best poker faces that not even my closest friends could crack, yet she could read me like a book. It was as disconcerting as it was welcome.

'Try telling my body that' she mumbled as she looked away, that was unusual in itself, she hardly ever broke eye contact first. She mustn't have liked what she saw in them this time.

I pondered over this a while before coming up with a solution to the cold part at least, I walked over to the benches and grabbed my duster, I then draped it over her shoulders, it was far too big, and I smiled as she huddled into it, looking like a child in her fathers coat,

I shook off that analogy. I didn't like to think about the age difference between us; despite the fact that she had made it clear enough that she didn't care about that. I still did. I looked down at her and started

Rose's eyes had gone blank, like she was looking at something else.

I forced myself not to panic; she must be with the Princess. She wasn't in pain; that much was clear, so I made myself wait.

And wait.

And wait.

At least ten minutes must have passed by now. Why wasn't she snapping out of it? Her eyes were widening in horror and she now looked worried. But it wasn't the kind of worry that I was familiar with, the kind that turned into rage and spurred her into action when her best friend was in danger. No, this was a different concern, a kind that you get when you watch a particularly horrible horror film, an irrational fear; that made you jumpy and even scared for your own life; despite the fact that you know it's ridiculous.

Not able to take any more I grabbed her arm and shook her slightly; saying her name over and over, hoping to glean even the tiniest reaction that might tell me why.

**Here we go again hehe, I know you all know what happens but you did ask for it literally ;P**

**Anyway I hope you enjoyed it and please review and let my know what you think :D all criticisms and praise welcome :) (preferably the latter XD)**

**Love you all**

**Tibbins xx**


	4. Enter the Princess

**Hey guys. I thought I'd better UD because my GCSE results day is tomorrow. *gulps* If you review I will pass... (I hope)**

**The usual disclaimer applies. And this chapter is dedicated to an Of Weeds and Rose fan who asked me to dedicate a chappie to them. So here you are Maddie00000m :)**

**Enjoy :D**

Dimitri's POV

'Rose?' I repeated, her eyes snapped back to the present, but they were wide, fearful and confused and the blue tinge of her skin was still there.

'Is it Lissa?' That seemed to get her attention, she looked at me and blurted

'What the Hell just happened?'

I didn't know how to answer her so I just shrugged; she looked absent, far away, but not quite in the Princesses head.

I was baffled. I had no idea what she had seen and I was increasingly concerned, she looked scared, but sad at the same time and I didn't know what was causing it.

'Rose, what is going on?' I demanded after a long pause, she shook her head looking torn. Then she froze, and I mean _froze_, she was rooted to the spot, the icy hue of her usually olive complexion deepening. She glanced at me in horror.

I couldn't move. I had no idea what was going on or what I could do. The helplessness was squashing my ego. I hate not acting when something is wrong.

Suddenly, Rose shuddered, and she looked like she was going to fall over.

The Dragomir Princess was walking towards us, from behind Rose. I breathed a sigh of relief, she wasn't in danger. But as she drew closer, the expression on her face made me cringe inside.

Fury and hate reflected out of her jade green eyes. As Rose seemed to force herself to turn and face her best friend I caught a glimpse of her face.

She was scared. Of Lissa?

Then Lissa opened her mouth and spoke in a deadly whisper that grew louder until she was shrieking.

'Rose, why the _fuck _have you been sleeping with Christian; MY BOYFRIEND!' she yelled

I flinched. What? It was like a thorn had just struck me in the ribs, which is ironic really, considering she is a Rose.

Rose and Christian? But they loathed each other!

_Or did they? _A small voice that sounded suspiciously like Tasha. _Think about it Dimka. They are both stubborn and protective. They are perfect together!_

I could feel my lips tightening

'You _what _Rose?' I demanded.

She was looking at me like a rabbit in headlights, her eyes were as large as orbs, and as dark as night. She was glancing between me and the Princess, terror on her face.

Vasilisa hadn't finished yet

She laughed scornfully 'What? Nothing to say for once Rose?' 'Well unlike you I have plenty to say. Not only have you fucked Christian, but you've fucked every creature with a _fucking dick _at this godforsaken school! I am going to make your life _Hell _Hathaway. I am going to put you down so low that not even Satan will welcome you into the sewers of Hell. You are a two faced, two timing, spineless; shitty little slut of a BLOOD WHORE!'

Rose cringed not speaking, but her mouth was flapping open as if she couldn't find the words.

I was shocked. I had never seen this side of the Princess before. She always seemed so sweet and I had never heard her swear. Her face was contorted and she was spitting in her rage. I was so focussed on trying to contemplate what was happening that I didn't even try to stop Rose as she ran past me, streaking back towards the gym, as fast as she could.

Which was pretty damn fast.

When Rose was out of sight I turned to Lissa.

'Princess. What is going on here? I don't understand.' I said desperately, trying to keep my voice calm, and failing dismally.

She explained that she had heard Christian bragging about 'meeting' with Rose before she burst into angry tears and stormed off. I glanced between her retreating figure and the gym, before I sighed, resignedly and turned once more, to follow Rose. The anger curling in my stomach.

**So let me know what you think :D**

**Remember to review or I may fail my exams and you wouldn't want that on your concience. Would you?**

**I promise to UD soon and let you know my results**

**Love you all**

**Tibbins xx**


	5. School Day

**Hey guys :) I PASSED :D I GOT 3 As 6 Bs AND TWO Cs I'm well chuffed XD**

**So heres another chapter, please review :D**

**Disclaimer applies so please dont sue me :D**

**This chapter is for amberrosalie because she is one of the only ones who wished me luck :D Thank you to everyone else who reviewed, keep 'em coming :D**

Dimitri's POV

I knew that Rose wouldn't reappear to spar. I also knew that she would go to her lessons and training later.

I went back to my room, thoughts swirling like a fog around my sluggish brain.

What was going on?

I swore under my breath and put my head in my hands, massaging my temple with my fingertips.

So Rose had been sleeping with Christian Ozera. Why had the world not ended? It felt like it had.

It was so hard to imagine Rose with anyone other than me. The thought hurt, so I shied away from it. But it kept coming back, again and again, so frequently that I had to turn my attention to it or I would go insane.

Eventually, I stood and made my way to Stan's classroom. Knowing Rose would be there made me want to swap duties but my pride wouldn't allow it. I slipped in silently as a ghost, and stood, arms folded, focussing on the whole room, noting every move made by all of the students. Listening to Stan drone on and on about Strigoi.

Noticing that Rose never said a word; apart from one remark that consisted of

'Leave me the Hell alone Stan' she didn't speak all lesson. She looked worried and confused, as if she didn't get what was going on either.

'Thank God Hathaway. I was beginning to think you were ill.'

Rose shivered as Stan turned away and her expression turned dark.

After class, when Rose had filed out with the rest of the class, Stan approached me.

'Belikov' he nodded, I returned the gesture

'Do you know what's up with Hathaway?' I instantly stiffened, but I kept my expression neutral as I shrugged.

'No idea' I replied shortly.

His eyes narrowed, like he didn't quite believe me. But I met his gaze and he gave up.

After Stan's lesson, I went off to the Moroi block, where they were being taught separately from the novices. The Princess was particularly inattentive, talking to that Jesse Zeklos and his friends. I tried to eavesdrop but they were too far forwards for me to hear them over the other babble.

Lunch came quickly. I could see that there was a new pile of gossip going around. Honestly, these students! Don't they have anything better to do than to make up wild rumours about their peers?

Obviously not.

I rolled my eyes at the banter. And as I did so, a lone figure danced on my periphery. It was Rose. She was sitting alone her gaze following the whispers. As I looked on she sighed ran her hand through her beautiful hair. She looked down and stared at her plate.

I had a pretty good idea what the new gossip was about.

My theory was proven right after Lunch. In the classes where Novices mixed with Moroi, Rose received about 30 notes. All of which she read then ripped up; glaring at the offender.

One of the senders happened to be sitting in front of where I was standing. As Rose turned in her seat to glare, I caught the pain in her eyes. Aside from the anger at being caught at her latest scandal, Roza was in pain.

**So watcha think? As good as Roses POV? Btw guys this is kind of the point where you need to read that one to understand this one.**

**Feel free to review on both of them hehe. **

**Lots of love**

**Tibbins xx**


	6. Sparring

**Hey everyone. I'm really sorry, I know I haven't written in ages but I've been settling into my new 6th form... BTW I got 3As 6Bs and twoCs :D wooo unless i said that before ... :/**

**This chapter is for everyone of you that had waited so patiently for this chapter :D**

**Enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer applies**

Dimitri's POV

After lunch I ignored Rose. I refused to even look at her. I knew that she was a good actress and that look of pain was probably just what I wanted to see. Not that I wanted Rose to hurt, I just wanted an excuse to help me justify what she did.

_If she did it._ A stubborn voice that sounded like my sister Viktoria said.

But she must have, she didn't deny it out on the track. This made anger raise its ugly head, making me feel as if I'd swallowed a live porcupine, I had to fight to keep my mask up. Every time I saw Rose glance fearfully at me, I knew she had seen my anger, although how, I couldn't fathom. Rose just knew me too well to buy into my expressionless face. I saw every time she received a fresh piece of paper, she would rip it into equal strips with almost an obsessive frenzy.

As usual I skipped Slavic Arts to go and prepare for practice with Rose.

I met Tasha on the way down to the gym. I was surprised, but I greeted her with one of those smiles that always made Rose look very pleased with herself about something. Then I shook my head slightly. I was with Tasha, not Rose. And I would behave as such.

'Hello Tasha' I grinned, she smiled back, her big green eyes sparkling with laughter and fun

'Hello Dimka' she greeted brightly. 'How have you been?'

'Fine' I said 'How come you're here? I thought you were still at Court.'

Tasha waved a hand dismissively.

'Something came up, and anyway, I missed Christian' the light of the rising sun reflected off her face, emphasising her scars, which only added to her beauty. Tasha was the only woman (apart from Rose) who I ever paid attention to in that way. But that thing was long over, and Tasha knows that. I hope.

We made small talk until I realised that I only had twenty minutes to spare. I hurriedly made my excuses and continued to the gym. Tasha stayed where she was. She said she was meeting Christian there.

I thought it might be healthy if we had a good spar. It might relieve some of the frustration in both of us; maybe even clear the air enough for us to talk about it reasonably.

I doubt it. My anger was steadily increasing to breaking point, egged on by Tasha's voice in my brain, eventually leading to me pummelling the mats into place with an increased ferocity.

I had angled myself so that I wasn't directly facing the door. I didn't know if my new formed opinion of her could withhold if I caught that glimpse of her entering, before her guard went up and she controlled her expression, that time when she looked vulnerable.

She was late, no big surprise. It wasn't like she was ever on time. But she usually made it within ten minutes, in the afternoon sessions anyway, it was only a few corridors away from Slavic Arts. She must be deliberately late. Not that I could blame her for that. As much as I'd like to at the moment.

The doors opened and she emerged, face carefully neutral as I greeted her by name. I was surprised at myself, usually I loved saying her name, but this time I had to force it out, and a lot of bitterness came with it.

She didn't say anything apart from the usual. I told her 30 and then she nodded and made her way out to the track. I wouldn't be running with her today. I didn't think I could without reliving the Princess screaming that Rose had been sleeping with Christian. I shuddered and turned away from watching Rose run. I went to get the practice stake and waited patiently by the door. And returned to watching Rose absentmindedly; she looked peaceful; a serene expression was on her face.

She soon came down to join me, I threw the stake at her as soon as she walked in, expecting her to catch it and make a sarcastic remark. As it was she barely held on to it, I managed to disguised my laugh as a cough, but Rose was too sharp, she looked up instantly, meeting my eyes for the first time she smiled meekly but I smoothed my expression and she turned away, disappointed.

Then she shivered, her slight smile sliding off her face instantly. I frowned, this wasn't an ordinary shiver. The expression 'walking over your grave' seemed at that moment to be true. Then I remembered the accusations, and stopped myself.

But I thought I had better ask, just to make sure, for purely professional reasons only.

'Are you alright to spar?' I asked

She nodded, as usual refusing to admit anything that might class her as anything other than 'Badass' or, at the moment 'slut'.

I turned away quickly. I hated to think of Rose like that. I noticed her sinking into an offensive posture and copied her quickly, knowing that she usually liked to make the first move, however this time I was so riled that I lunged first. But she easily blocked my punch, she then attempted a roundhouse kick, but grabbing her ankle, I managed to flip her over as if she were a rag doll, I was about to pin her down, landing blows a bit harder than I would normally have done, but she surprised me by a punch to my face, using my hesitation to twist free, and less than a second later, I felt a firm thud at my heart, and looked down to see the stake being held there.

Rose backed off almost instantly and trembled at my expression as I got up and she bit her lip. She had often teased me about being scary but _she_ had never seemed wary of me before. Her posture stiffened, she looked rigid, like she was going to snap. I was alarmed. She wouldn't look at me; as disappointed as I was right now, Rose was still my student. But just as I was about to speak she fled, her parting words ringing in my ears even though they were raspy and barely audible

'I am _not _a blood whore'

My head was spinning. I was so confused. Usually I didn't care about one delinquent student going through a phase like this; as long as they weren't slandering my name by doing so and as long as they didn't slack in their training I left them to grow up unless they needed taking in hand. But this was _Rose_. For weeks I had had to endure comments from the other guardians like Alto who had a vendetta against her. Saying that she could be brilliant, but she didn't seem to want to be, a typical popular bitch.

Then met her, and all of those muttered insults dissolved into meaninglessness when I witnessed her bravery, her determination, her willingness to put her inexperienced and untrained self in between a dozen or so of the best, and she had only given in when the Princess insisted through the bond. But she had hated doing it, you could see it in her eyes, she was wary, untrusting, protective, everything that a guardian should be. Even then I knew that this girl was something special.

However I hadn't realised quite how special until I was appointed as her mentor. We grew close. Much closer that I had ever let myself get to any colleague let alone student, but I couldn't help it. She could read me. I couldn't hide anything from her and she pointed out likenesses that I would normally have kept hidden and not acknowledged.

And now?

We had been through so much. The look on her face when I had found her at Spokane still haunted me. That had hurt her deeply; she still blames herself for Mason's death, for not managing to save the day and laugh about the danger of it afterwards.

As much as I tried not to, I fell in love with Rose Hathaway.

But it seems the feeling wasn't mutual. Although I would encourage her to choose a boy her own age, no matter what it would cost me I would _never _have wanted her to become a harlot.

I couldn't do this, I couldn't keep up these extra sessions, she was already excelling in her training and I had taught her a lot. I couldn't see her and teach her without thinking of what she had done.

Rose had broken me.

But could I throw it all away?

Soon after I had asked this question I found myself knocking on Roses door and I called her name when she didn't answer. This got a soft gasp and a seemingly cautious movement from behind the door. Then she slowly emerged

'Dimitri?' she whispered disbelievingly

'Rose, I just wanted to say that …' I couldn't say this. I couldn't cancel all our practices. Not with her eyes turning hopeful

'Yes…?' she prompted eagerly

'Practice is cancelled indefinitely, I will remain your mentor and will check up on you every so often but you no longer need extra classes. It will give you more free time for … other things' I trailed off

There, I said it, as quickly as possible, like ripping off a band aid.

Rose doubled over as if I had punched her, letting out a gasp of pain as she started to tremble.

Her expression fell and she looked devastated for a moment. That terrible night I had found her in Spokane flashed through my mind again,

She had looked like she was dying then too.

She suddenly jerked upright, as if she remembered that I was there

'Ok. You can go now. I'm fine' she choked, not looking at me. I hesitated before nodding. I think the worst thing I could do now was push it, if she wanted to talk then she would, nothing stopped her if she wanted to talk. But if I pressed her she would clam up.

Not that I care of course.

I turned away from her and heard the click of the door and a second click of the lock. I had barely taken two steps when a sound made me freeze. I was now rooted to the spot; I couldn't move, couldn't do anything but listen to the sound that I had hoped never to hear.

Rose was sobbing, great, wracking sobs that resonated through my very bones.

I had caused that.

**So... Thoughts, opinions, hate mail? Love mail (preferable XD)**

**Let me know**

**Love Tibbins xx**


	7. After Hours

**Hey guys :D I thought that I could get away with this one being a bit shorter than usual 'coz it's up quickish**

**Disclaimer applies**

**This one is split between two people: amberrosalie and Maddie00000m because their reviews were awesome :D**

**Enjoy :)**

**By the way: My last chapter wasn't meant to make you think that Dimitri's an ass O.O**

Dimitri's POV

I stood there for several minutes before turning away again. It wasn't for me to hear. It wasn't for anyone to hear.

Growing up solely with girls I had seen and heard a lot of crying, when relationships turned ugly, when they did badly on an exam. But never, in all my twenty four years had I heard such a complete outlet of pain. It took everything I had to walk away from that; from her.

I made my way back to the staff room. Only to find that I had been given the night duty; I hoped very much that Rose wouldn't succumb to the temptation to go for a walk tonight.

The other guardians kept stealing glances at me. I hated it; it was my _job _to be invisible. Was I failing at that too? Would thoughts of Rose dominate my whole life? Reaching into the depths of my soul? She already knew me better than I knew myself.

Why did I do this? Why did I cancel our sessions that meant far more to both of us than just training?

I went back to my room straight after dinner. The other guardians were making me edgy, as if they knew something. I avoided Alberta especially; she was like a second mother to Rose.

I sat down heavily on my bed and dropped my face to my hands; I can't remember ever feeling so confused.

_Only her_. I thought angrily, _only she could make me doubt everything I had ever believed in._

And I couldn't bring myself to hate her for it.

I slept a little before going out on patrol. It was a gloomy day that went with my gloomy mood; the sky was overcast and although it was warm, there was a light drizzle that just seemed to top everything off.

I scowled as I paced, and I glared at the offending sky, the corner of my eye glimpsing Roses window as I did so. My expression softened instantly, and I sighed.

I couldn't seem to stop thinking about her for five minutes.

She would be asleep now. Curled up under her duvet, breathing deeply, maybe unknowingly blowing her ebony waterfall of hair slightly.

I took a deep breath and shook myself, trying to concentrate on the cracks in the wall (6589), the possible Strigoi entry points (0), the time (9:57am).

Nothing worked.

Finally, by 4:30 Alberta came to take over. She smiled at me when she saw me pacing.

'Go to her Belikov' she whispered.

Ten minutes later I was outside her room. Pacing as I had done outside, unable to get the courage to knock on the door.

Rose would have laughed, Hell, everyone would have laughed. I'm able to take down three Strigoi at a time without breaking a sweat, but knocking on a door? Terrifying.

I was so lost in thought that at first I didn't notice the whimpers and gasps from behind the wood.

She must be having a nightmare, I thought tenderly. Must be a bad one, normally if a nightmare tried to scare her she'd punch it in the face. That thought made me laugh, before she screamed. A scream so terrible that the smile dropped from my face immediately and a split second later I had rammed my shoulder against the door, forcing the lock to open, and then I was lying next to her, stroking her hair and whispering comforting Russian in her ear. Because she had called for me. Because she needed me.

'DIMITRI!'

**So whatcha think?**

**Please review and let me know. Is he acting like Dimitri? **

**I don't want him to get soppy but i want to show his love for Rose if you get me :S **

**am i doing that ok?**

**Keep me posted :)**

**Love you all**

**Tibbins xx**


	8. Nightmare Aftermath

**Hey everyone :D I started writing this last night and it's a good long one so I thought that would make up for the timing. **

**Disclaimer applies as always**

**This one goes to a couple of people. xhiddenvampirex because she was so complimentary and she said that I could write a book. Thank you :D**

**Also to Maddie00000m for the advice and good stuff. Thank you :D**

**And to WildChildBornGood because you have reviewed quite a lot but I haven't yet dedicated anything to you so here you go. Thank you :D**

**And last but not least to my #1 reviewer, Missy Mel 183 for all your awesome reviews. Thank you :D **

**Enjoy the chapter :D**

Dimitri's POV

It took a long time for Rose to calm down. She kept fighting me and letting out little whimpers that she would have scoffed at had she been awake. Soon she was shaking like a leaf in a hurricane. I just held her and she clutched my duster as if her life depended on it. She called for me a few times which made my heart swell with love and pity. Just knowing that _I _was the one she called for made me happier that it should have done under the circumstances.

Eventually she stopped shaking so badly and she released her physical hold on me. Sensing she was going to wake soon, and to avoid awkward questions, I moved from my half lying position next to her and stood instead, carefully so I didn't wake her too soon. I stared out of the window instead; it was still daylight, but the sky was darkening, and the setting sun was glowing orange, which made the sky look like it was burning. The fire topped mountains danced on the horizon, momentarily taking my breath and distracting me from my reason for being here; or to put it another way, my reason for being.

A sudden, hysterical gasp made me spin around to see Rose, sitting bolt upright in bed, taking deep gulps of air as if she had just been pulled from the bottom of a lake and inspecting her own self vigorously, she ran her hands over them, looking terrified. Then her expression cleared and she ran a hand through her hair, and shutting her eyes, breathed out in obvious relief.

Must have been some dream.

'You're awake' I stated coolly, not letting my voice show the confusion at her abrupt awakening, she jumped and her dark eyes started open, immediately filling with hope.

'Dimitri' she croaked (most of her voice had been used up during the night and she looked quite surprised and embarrassed by this) 'What are you doing here?'

It was my turn to look sheepish. I chose my words before answering

'After we um… talked, I was on dorm security. I was passing down the hall and I heard you, you um… screamed my name' Well… that was sort of true. I didn't want her to think that I had been scared to knock on her door.

'Oh' she said quietly, then after a pause 'I'm sorry, I had a bad dream, it was Dark everywhere and it was … it hurt.' She trailed of, half shrugging and crossing her arms as if trying to shield herself from any expected scorn. But I had no such scorn for her, I couldn't. She looked like she had just been tortured, her face was damp with perspiration and there were dark circles under her eyes, they looked sunken and her face looked sallow, her paler than usual skin seemed to hang off her skull making her look ill, and her eyes glittered unnaturally brightly in the dying light. Her hair was matted and tangled and the suns red light gave the impression that it was glistening with blood. I had to repress the urge to look away and as I watched, she gave a shiver, making her hair ripple about her face. As the hair cleared away however, I nearly cried out. Her skin now had a visible blue tinge creeping up her neck; it looked like it was trying to consume her. I felt sickened.

'Rose?' I said carefully, hiding the disgust in my voice at the sight of what looked to be an icy blue spider inching its way up her throat.

Rose didn't look at me. I could tell that she could tell from my tone that she wasn't going to like my next question. She kept playing with her hair and made an overly nonchalant noise.

'What's wrong?'

I knew I should have phrased it better as soon as I said it. She sent me a death glare from under her lashes that would have made lesser mortals like Zeklos curl up in a corner and cry for his mother.

'Do you have to ask that?' She practically yelled 'Do you really have no idea? I'll tell you, shall I? My best friend has some … crazy idea that I slept with her boyfriend and the rest of the male population of the school along with blood whore stuff! And half of them are backing her up! My phone number is everywhere so I keep getting, texts and calls with lewd suggestions from the boys and… My jaw set, and my hands balled into fists '…from the girls _and _'blood whore' references from both! I've been feeling like _shit _for the past few days and I don't know why,I just had the worst nightmare ever! That felt so real that it _fucking hurt _when these tentacle things practically sliced me in half!'

I looked at her. Thoroughly ashamed of myself. How could I have been so stupid? How could I not have noticed how much that this whole business was hurting her and that she was ill and kept getting sicker by the minute? How could I not have trusted her?

But she was still going. She pushed herself off the bed, eyes blazing ferociously and poked me hard in the chest

'But do you know the worst thing about everyone thinking I am a blood whore?' And not waiting for an answer continued

'The absolute _worst _part it that _you _believed it too.' Her voice cracked and her gaze wavered. My neutral expression broke and softened I took her haughty features.

'Oh Roza' I whispered before assuring her that I never believed the rumours and that I had just been angry.

She visibly sagged when I finished. I caught her quickly in my arms and held her close, breathing in her smell of cinnamon, ginger and orange. Sweet but sharp. Just like her.

I prolonged the moment for as long as I could, but wishing that it could be longer but my need for information extinguished my need for comfort.

'Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well?' I muttered into her hair.

It was a while before she responded, as if it had taken a while for her sluggish brain to process my voice. I didn't complain and didn't ask again until she had regrettably pulled away and repeated her overly nonchalant noise of 'Hmm?'

I chuckled, amused by the fact that she too seemed to regret the loss of body warmth.

As soon as I repeated the question however, her body stiffened, then she suddenly fell backwards onto her bed with a thump.

'Roza?' I exclaimed, alarmed, stepping forwards.

'I'm fine' she blurted automatically.

I sighed and shook my head at her, smiling sadly as I sat next to her

'No you aren't. It's early, and you aren't well enough for practice today.' She groaned. I ignored her 'That leaves us with about six hours for you to tell me what's wrong.'

She was looking out of the window with a glazed expression, only half listening. Then, her eyes met my face and acknowledged my full explanation about me thinking her to be slacking which she gave a ghost of her usual grin at, and me hating to fight with her.

She gave me a surprised in a nice way look which told me that she was touched. Then she frowned slightly as she looked at me, eyes lingering just under my eyes and flickered to my lips before resuming her scrutiny. She chewed on her lower lip, looking thoughtful.

Then, the opened her mouth and took a deep breath, and was overcome by a spasm of coughing. These weren't air stuck in the back of the throat coughs or fake to get out of awkward moment coughs. These were gut wrenching coughs that sounded deep and painful.

I knew my guardian mask had completely slipped and for one, wild moment I was terrified for her. This wasn't helping.

'Rose even while we've been talking, you seem to have gotten worse. Please… just tell me what's wrong.'

Eventually, the coughing fit was over, and I got a grip on my fear, only letting pure love radiate from my face.

She had another go at explaining

'It's just, cold.' she said as if she hadn't just coughed up a lung 'Just cold all the time. Nothing gets rid of it, no matter how many jumpers I wear or laps I run, I'm just always cold.'

She shivered again.

Damn this girl. She would never let me take her to see Dr Olendzki despite how ill she was. Nevertheless I had to try, putting my arm around her to stem the shivering I asked flatly

'I don't suppose I could get you to go to the clinic?'

She started shaking her head on 'suppose'.

Damn her.

'No. I'll wait it out. It'll be ok.' She replied lightly.

Of course she would. She'd say that she was ok if she had just been diagnosed with cancer … Lose that thought … IMMEDIATELY!

'I don't care about _it, _I care about you.' I retorted softly, deciding that the best way was not to insist on anything.

'Well don't I feel loved' she joked, eyes telling me that her words were true.

I responded in the way I knew she wanted me to. Like a true gentleman I murmured

'Oh you are' before leaning in to kiss her.

**Well?**

**Whatcha think? Let me know.**

**I'm trying to stay true to the Dimitri we all know. I'm not sure if I'm describing Rose too much or if thats how he sees her. Like he can't think about anything else. But i dnt want him to get soppy :/ **

**Keep me posted guys. All comments are welcome :D**

**Love you all**

**Tibbins xx**


	9. In the Corridors

**Hey, I know I's been a while so here's the next chapter, Disclaimer applies**

**Enjoy :)**

**Dedicated to Lush**

Dimitri's POV

I kept a very close eye on Rose over the next few days, or, as close as I could without drawing suspicion. Although I didn't feel I should resume the extra classes, I really wanted to. The Princess had added to the rumours, making all the other students follow her around, making disgusting comments about Rose at every opportunity and hounding her between classes, things that I tried to keep under control.

'It's like having your own cheerleading squad, only they hate me' she tried to joke once when I marched over and the lesser mortals scampered off like naughty puppies. Although I laughed at her feeble attempt at humour I couldn't help but wonder when she had last eaten, her eyes were sunken with dark circles underneath them, her skin was pale, bruised and clammy looking, as if she hadn't seen sunlight in days, and her normally curvy body was thinner, almost skeletal, her collarbone was clearly visible and her joints looked pointy and sharp.

I heard nothing but praise and concern for Rose from her teachers, if they bothered to report to me at all, Alberta too had noticed that she was different, but Stan was overjoyed that 'she finally learned to shut the Hell up'.

I knew that the mornings would be especially bad for her because while she was under my watch the most her peers could do was pass the occasional note and say the occasional snide remark, whereas when I had to make Moroi my priority was when Rose was doing the practical side of training. Where Matinova ruled and where the novices were allowed to be violent.

There was definitely an increase in cuts and bruises that were occupational, however lately she seemed covered in them, and she occasionally limped and winced as she walked.

I asked her about it sometimes but knowing Rose she was too proud to admit weakness.

'Oh, Hi Dimka' came a cheery voice,

'Hello Tasha' I greeted unsmilingly, her grin faltered

'What's up?'

'The sky, the clouds, the roof' I reeled off, Tasha laughed and rolled her eyes

'Oh Ha Ha' she said sarcastically 'I meant with you.'

'I know what you meant and nothing.' I lied and then quickly changed the subject 'What are you doing here anyway?'

'Oh' she shifted slightly and an emotion I couldn't quite catch flittered across her features 'Waiting for Christian' she said about a heartbeat too late for me to believe her.

I raised an eyebrow, something which never failed to impress Rose but a look that Tasha met coolly.

'Right.' I said. 'Let's just pretend that I believe you and I'll be on my way'

Wow that came out harsh. I guiltily avoided her eyes as hurt passed her features.

'Sorry' I said as meaningfully as I could 'I just have a lot on my mind right now.' Tasha nodded sympathetically

'Yes, I suppose you do. I mean, I _like _Rose but she's letting you down a bit with her reputation isn't she?'

I gave a non committal grunt in reply. I don't like it when anyone insults Rose, not even Tasha.

I ended the conversation and continued on my way, not really sure where I was going, just patrolling if anyone asked, but my feet knew better than my brain.

I was heading towards Roses dorm.

I heard voiced, one I loathed and one I loved. Never a good match, I quickened my pace to see Zeklos retreating, looking slightly shaken by whatever it was that Rose has just said, I watched, so I could get the feel of the scene unfolding in front of me.

'Wow, you really are a crazy bitch blood whore. You know I kinda like that in a girl.'

Jesse Zeklos. Provoking Rose, my eyes narrowed to see how Rose would take this, usually far quicker to rise than I was but no, for once she kept her self control and stalked off, head held high, ignoring Zeklos' spiteful glare and malicious grin, my heart swelled with pride.

Before…

'Hath away, don't run away!' This was a pretty terrible insult by anyone's standards, a name pun, Rose had received a hundred worse ones without punching anything, or anyone, and I expected her to scoff, to keep on walking

I did _not _expect her to stop, rigid, and spin around slowly to face Zeklos' smug smile at having gotten to her, as she spun I caught a glimpse of her face

It was murderous. And I mean_ really _murderous. Her eyes glittered strangely, with pain and outrage and downright fury, her jaw was set as if her teeth were clenched tightly and her hands were fists that looked like they very much wanted to close around Jesse's throat.

Time I stepped in

'Mr Zeklos' I said, loudly enough to get the attention of both Rose and Zeklos, the latter of which quailed under my stare, the other barely reacted

I think I needed to remind this idiot of the last time he tried to mess with Rose

'I trust you and your friend don't need _another_ reminder of male and female interactions. This is the female wing. You should not be here. Go.'

He went, but not before calling out a threat. One which I ignored, my whole attention was on Rose, she was staring after Jesse, anger and pain clouding her eyes, and her lip was being bitten so hard that I was sure it was bleeding. Her face was haunted with a look that made me think of Spokane again, I was once again transported to that cold and dark room, where the only sliver of light illuminated Rose, standing over the body of her former friend Mason Ashford, a blunt sword in her hands and two bloody messes of Strigoi remains around her, her eyes had been wild, feral, dead.

Only my voice seemed to register at all and despite the horror of the situation I was quite smug by that fact.

'_I … I have to protect him' _she had said to me, tears streaming down her face, as she held the sword at me, I of all people knew how formidable she could be when cornered, but I wasn't scared of her running me through. She was still Rose.

She had looked so pitiful, so broken, and so full of pain and remorse that I couldn't say anything other than

'_You did' _

She hadn't believed that, just as she still didn't believe that. But nonetheless she had let the sword drop. She had done her duty as a guardian and kept the Moroi safe; that is the praise for her that I heard, but I knew her well enough to know that unless she had saved everyone, she would feel like she failed. I also knew that if Mason hadn't run back to help then Rose would have been killed instead. And every day I am thankful that she wasn't. If I had had to choose between them, then the right person had been saved.

Jerked back into the present just in time to see Rose sway and catch her around her waist, holding her up; keeping her strong.

'Rose?' She was reliving it too, I could tell. There was a certain look of nostalgic pain that I only saw occasionally.

And I was right. Apparently, it had been Rose and Masons joke 'Hath away, don't run away' and Zeklos had dredged up those memories. Bastard

How can any relative of Ivan be so heartless? Ivan was kind, compassionate and understanding. He knew that I needed to spend time with my family. And it got him killed.

I stayed with Rose a while, holding her and letting her hold me, it was comforting, knowing that she was still here, despite everything

She was here, and that's all that matters.

**Please review and let me know what you think :)**

**Love Tibbins xx**


	10. Nostalgia

**Hey everyone :) I know I haven't updated in a while (I wrote a short, 3 chapter Merlin fic, now complete, 'His Smile' go check it out :D)**

**I'm sorry, but A level is really hard and Iv'e had loads of other stuff on and Iv'e been really busy so yeah, that's my excuse.**

**Disclaimer applies, **

**This chapter is for ImpartialMoroi because she (I assume she) couldn't think of a death threat bad enough XD, but it's Ok hun, I understand, and I started writing this as soon as I read your review ;P keep it up**

**Enjoy :D**

Dimitri's POV

Saturday.

My weekend off; the one I had been waiting for. I had mentioned it to Rose last night, promising how I wouldn't be far away if she needed me.

With hindsight I should have told her where, so she knew where to come, but it hadn't occurred to me then, and I hoped that she could go a day without getting into trouble.

I stared at the cabin ceiling, predictably, my thoughts focussed on Rose.

Damn her, I thought fondly. Only Rose could distract me, make me need a break. Rose's troubles are intense. God only knows how _she_ feels.

Damn her, I thought again, only she could turn me into a coward.

Laughing slightly I reached over for a western and the bedside lamps 'on' switch as a weak attempt to distract myself, maybe I shouldn't have done this, It may still be early in the vampiric schedule but with Rose, I wouldn't be surprised if she was doing something she shouldn't be … like … training for example.

I slapped myself on the forehead, of _course, _I should have known, postponing the practice had been hard on her, she hates being inactive, but at least then I could keep an eye on her, I really wouldn't be surprised if she had all the dummies out and the punching bag and all the multi gym equipment. Exasperated I gave up on the novel and folded my hands on my stomach, eyes closed, and breathing deeply, I could almost fool myself that I was asleep, I figured that Rose deserved a bit of training time, I'd give it an hour, maybe two, then I'd storm in there and drag her back to her room. No doubt she'd already outdone herself running 50 laps or something equally ridiculous. When I had an off day, I liked to run too. I think my top score is 157 laps without stopping, which is a grand total of 13 miles, more or less, and that had almost killed me, but it had been a _really _bad day.

The day that Ivan died.

I had been at home of course but I was notified the same day. Ivan was a good man, a good Moroi, and a strong minded individual. He was also the best friend I have ever had. He didn't treat me like a guardian, we had known each other from our own Academy years, and we had hit it off right away, when I had played a … prank on a teacher and Ivan had taken the blame for me. He didn't have to and he remained in disgrace for days, but he did it because he knew that, as a Royal, he would get into a lot less trouble than I would have.

We were almost inseparable.

I sighed, lost in my memories, waiting for the clock to move several hours so I could go and see Rose again.

I wasn't bored exactly; I quite like doing nothing, waiting for something. As a guardian you get precious little alone time. Ivan had known that, and paid for it with his life.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door

'Come in' I called, surprised, but I guessed who it might be.

In came Tasha, her long hair flowing loose and her emerald eyes fell on me, she grinned as she took in my position (I hadn't bothered to sit up,)

'Hey Dimka' she said jovially, 'so you finally got time out huh?' I grinned back easily, guilt coursing through me that I had been sharp with her lately

'You could call it that I guess' Tasha grimaced

'Looks boring to me' she teased

I laughed and sat up, crossing my legs underneath me, Rose often said that I had no right to be as graceful as I was, considering my height, but in reality I considered myself well balanced. 'Graceful' might be a nicer term, but in a mostly male populace, it was a bad idea to mention the word when referring to each other.

Tasha came and sat next to me on the bed; it was proof of our friendship when she didn't make a Rose like comment.

'I thought you might be here' she said gently, she twisted her hands in her lap as if working herself up to ask something 'Are you … alright, Dimka?'

I stared at her, and her green eyes darted around the room in her awkwardness, I would have done too, but I knew all my escape options already

'I mean' she added hastily 'It's just, I haven't seen you much and you always look a bit … tense I guess'

God bless Tasha Ozera. None of my colleagues had noticed despite seeing them every day, not even my family had noticed when I called, well, Yeva probably did but she didn't say anything, only Rose knew, and I couldn't talk to her about my stress about her problems, she felt guilty enough as it was, but Tasha Ozera had me practically figured out already. And it would be a relief to talk, believe me. But I still couldn't talk about Rose, not to anyone, not even to Tasha. It wasn't really a secret, but it still wasn't my place to tell.

'I heard about Rose' she continued, oblivious to my thoughts 'her … reputation, I mean, you know that already because I told you in the corridor, but I got the feeling that you needed to talk about it …' she rambled on a bit more, pretty much going round in circles. Tasha wasn't usually one to get embarrassed. Normally I would have put her at ease long ago but I let her run out of steam first, it was quite funny to watch if the cruel truth be told.

'Look, Tasha …'

'You can talk to me Dimka you know?'

'I know that.' I said. Maybe if I kept my answers short then she wouldn't keep probing. I don't talk about me very often. In fact, I don't really _talk_ very often. Other than my 'Zen lessons' and the occasional chastisement I realised that I don't speak to Rose much about home. But Tasha had been there, and meeting her eyes now, I could tell she understood, her jewel bright eyes bored into mine

'Tell me' she said

**So ... what do you think? Let me know, any ideas? About Tasha? 'coz I assume you've all read the 1st one so I guess you know the plot but i'm not gonna spoil it just in case. But anyway yeah, I love reviews, it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside ^^, BTW I don't think you'd care, but I put up my first bad review on my profile, the review was for 'Of Weeds and Rose' and feel free to check it out, and my response, and if you're reading this Mags then actually don't rag on you like some authors on this do. .**

**Ok thats pretty much it :) **

**Love you all **

**Tibbins xx**


	11. Darkness and Doubt

**Hey everyone :D Listen I'm really happy at the moment. Because for the last chapter I got LOADS of really long, really awesome reviews that made me all warm and fuzzy ^^**

**Thank you guys so much. **

**Disclaimer applies as per usual**

**This chapter is split four ways, half is for dancer101202303 and THANK YOU SO MUCH! I was literally squeeing when I read your review :D and please pass my thank you onto your friend (who is the second dedicatee but I can't put a name because I don't know who) as well (i'm curious as to who) for getting you to read this, and I'm really glad you love it :D**

**Another bit is for mickeymickeyVA who reviews on every chapter and makes me so happy when I read 'em. (It's nice to have constant reviewers *hint hint*)**

**And the last (but not least) bit goes to another regular reviewer kinanbon x3. Because her exclamation of randomness made me laugh. **

**Anyway Thank you to everyone who reviewed, please keep reviewing and I will make sure to dedicate a chapter to you. Just so you know I read every single review I get and keep it in my inbox forever to treasure ^^**

**Anyhows, enjoy :)**

Dimitri's POV

I sighed

'Tasha …' I began

'Tell me' she repeated, almost forcefully.

I held her icy blue gaze as I contemplated the offer, I really did need to talk to someone about this, and Tasha was here, offering an ear. Yes, I could tell Tasha.

So I did. I told her everything. How Rose was suffering and how worried I was about her, how she'd probably be training right not and how thin she'd gotten lately, and worry that she might have passed out or something by now.

I told her all my fretting and she listened sympathetically. Hours passed, and I talked myself hoarse, often going around in circles, voicing the most severe of my worries again, repeating myself, trying to reason everything, and Tasha barely said a word.

And although I mentioned her training regularly, the need to check on Rose in the gym faded. I figured that she was smart enough to know when to quit. I told Tasha this and by the end of about 5 hours of non stop talk I figured that Rose would have called it quits by now, even though a small, Viktoria sound alike voice was nagging me to go and check anyway, but it was squashed by my sudden need to talk to Tasha, and easy to ignore.

Eventually, I had exhausted the topic of Rose, and Tasha and I moved on to lighter subjects. It was nice to talk to someone. Tasha was right. I _do _spend too much time on my own.

Eventually, as we talked through anecdotes about family life and Russia and laughed at my sisters' antics when we were younger,

The night got darker as the hours passed and, after another hearty joke (at my expense this time), Tasha looked at her watch and a surprised smile flickered across her marred face.

'My, my Dimka, we've been talking for over five hours!' she exclaimed, laughing

'Really?' I said taken aback, checking my own watch, she was right, it was now just gone 1am, just after lunchtime, and as if to determine this, my stomach growled loudly and Tasha laughed again, standing up

'I think we'd better feed you Dimka, else we'll all be in danger, I'll cook, but I need to visit the feeders first, I'll be right back' she turned as if to go, so I stood too and followed her out into the warm 'night' air.

'I'll come with you' I said,

'Thank you Captain Obvious' she teased, thinking she'd gotten the better of me, but if Rose had taught me one thing, it was the correct reply to that remark

I gave her a mock bow and saluted

'No problem Sergeant Sarcasm' I quipped, face as serious as I could but I couldn't resist tipping her a wink

Tasha laughed loudly at that one, her musical voice wrapping around me. I had missed that laugh.

She was still chortling halfway to the feeder dorm. I on the other hand, was deep in thought,

I rarely laughed around Rose, I had noticed. Her eyes lit up every time I gave her a full smile. How could it be that I was so light-hearted around Tasha, when Rose was the one I loved? I mean, I loved Tasha too, of course I did. She was probably my closest friend, but still …

Could this be an omen? That all the stress and tension that I felt when I was near Rose meant that we weren't right for each other? The fact that I could be so easy going with Tasha … could that mean something too?

No, I decided.

Aside from the fact that Rose and I could practically see into the other's soul, that electricity that passed between us whenever we touched couldn't be faked. And I didn't feel that with Tasha. Much as I knew she wanted me to, (I might be as Rose would call a 'typical guy' but I wasn't totally oblivious).

No. I decided, again, reaffirming what I knew to be true as we stepped through the doors and waited on a couch for Tasha to be called. If there is one thing that is certain between me and Rose then it is our love.

After a few other Moroi came and went, we were beckoned over to Alice; the old feeder that I knew made Rose uncomfortable.

'Guardian Belikov' she whispered, a delighted smile lighting her face 'Rose is your student.' It was a statement, not a question, but I gave an affirming nod

'How is she?'

'Fine' I lied, shifting my weight. I could tell what Rose meant, this woman reminded me of a demented Yeva. And I really didn't want to explain the ins and outs of Roses life to her.

Alice frowned suddenly 'You're lying' she said, her gaze was piercing, making my internally squirm, but I kept my face stoic. Alice looked into me for a few seconds before her face turned sad.

'You will lose her to the Darkness' she said, I flinched 'she is already starting to be consumed and torn apart by it,' she grabbed at the hem of my coat 'she is a good person, a kind person. Protect her Guardian Belikov, you must protect her!' he voice stayed sad, as if, no matter what I did I couldn't save Rose. Wait …Darkness? Lose her? Protect. Yes, I will protect my Roza, but what from? What was this Darkness? I couldn't lose her! I couldn't even contemplate that, wouldn't let it sink into my mind, the pure agony of that thought alone would be enough to crush any man.

I opened my mouth to question her more, but at that moment, Tasha sank her fangs into Alice's neck, and all thoughts of Darkness and Rose fled from the old feeders mind.

**So ...? feedback please ^^ I hope you like it, keep those reviews coming and please if you are a Merlin fan then please check out my Merlin short story 'His Smile'. But i advise that you don't read UNLESS you like Merlin/Arthur coupling (and how could you not? They are so cute XD)**

**Anyhoo, straying off topic a bit XD**

**Please keep reviewing ;P**

**Love you all**

**Tibbins xx**


	12. The Gym

**Hey everyone =3**

**Look I'm really sorry that I haven't updated in what seems like forever but A Levels are slowly stealing away my soul :( I literally had to force myself to write this D: But when I got into it I fell in love with writing again YAY ^^**

**I really hope it's good enough to put up with the delay**

**The usual disclaimer applies. Everything belongs to Richelle Mead of course, which is a shame but probably for the best**

**This chapter is for my 100th reviewer on this story Eliza Days ^^ who thinks it's 'awesome' apparently, or so she said 50 bijillion times ^^ Thank you hunni :D**

**Enjoy ^^**

Dimitri's POV

'Oh! Sorry Dimka, I thought you'd had enough of her rambling' Tasha said, grinning as she licked the blood from her lips, my eyes glanced to Alice, who was moaning happily at the bliss of the endorphins. What else would she have said? What was that about losing Rose?

I had to check the gym, just to make sure, just to be certain that she wasn't still there. Surely she would be in her room. That would be the most logical explanation. Yes. I would check her room first, and then I would go to the gym. That made the most sense. So why was I making my excuses to Tasha just as dawn was about to break, then striding quickly to the gym?

Not even halfway there, I heard screams.

Roses screams.

Screams of absolute agony.

I broke into a run, sprinting across the quad, I was getting closer, the screams were getting louder, and I pushed my muscles to the maximum, running as hard as I could. Where was everyone? It was Saturday for God's sake, and what was more it was Saturday evening, the campus was usually flocked with teenagers heading to other dorms or illicit parties that the Guardians knew about, but didn't care enough to stop, so why was there no one in sight? In fact, the only people I had seen all day were Tasha, and in the feeder building; but there was no time to dwell on that now

Rose had become abruptly silent.

Her silence was more terrifying than the screams and my stomach dropped; there was nothing on this Earth that could keep Rose quiet (despite desperate attempts), not even unconsciousness as I recall both when she sprained her ankle _and _after Natalie had attacked her.

This was serious.

I was nearly there; I slammed my way through the door; and skidded to a halt

Rose was on the ground, surrounded by broken glass and blood was oozing from her, she was writing around and whimpering, then she started screaming again, twisting and convulsing her body as if being taken with unbearable pain, and it took a _lot_ of pain to make Rose scream, I'd never heard such a sound before, it clawed at me from the inside, hurting me too.

As if in slow motion, I ran to her side, calling her name, yelling in my frenzy, her eyes followed my movement, although they were glazed and absent, I called her name again, more softly, but I don't even think she heard me this time, her eyes focussed and her screams faded into sobs, which gave way to heavy breathing.

'Dimitri?' she said, her voice breaking as she drank in my features,

'Oh Roza' I sighed in my relief that she was alive and speaking 'what on Earth happened? I was coming to the gym and I heard you screaming like you were …'

I paused, shaking my head, working up the strength to tell her what I had just seen and heard 'And when I got here you were just, screaming and covered in blood. I was so' I paused again, not wanting to admit it, even to her 'scared.'

She nodded slightly as she processed the information, when she did, her eyes snapped open and she sat up so fast that I just barely avoided collision.

Distractedly, and ignoring me, she stared around her, biting her lip when she saw the blood and looking as if she was assessing where it was coming from, she started checking herself methodically, as if following a checklist, Arm, lower back, stomach. The last one was where she froze and I saw why, blood was seeping out of a gash around her waist, it looked like she had just taken off a belt made out of razors, it was thin but deep, and Rose whimpered slightly when she traced the bloody outline.

'What? Who did this to you?' I demanded, not wanting to touch her wound and make it worse, my hands hovered over her stomach as if I were performing some sort of sick exorcism.

Rose was staring at the window, I followed her gaze, dawn had broken, and so had the window, glancing back at Rose I saw that her hands were shredded, and then I saw her wince and freeze.

'Hey Comrade?' I met her eyes at once, she spoke in a determined calm, as if I were a child and she was explaining that Santa Claus didn't exist.

'Um… Could you take a look at my neck please?'

I nodded, and she gathered her hair out of the way and leaned forwards, I looked closer and my mouth set, there was a delicate line, right in the middle of her _molnija _marks, directly where her promise mark should be, but Instead of being intricate, this was a crude slash, and a clear, sharp edge of glass was just visible on the surface of her skin, blood congealed around the open wound and dripped down her neck, sticking out in sharp contrast with her pale skin, and I briefly wondered just how long she had been training for.

'What?' she said, voice slightly fearful

'There seems to be a piece of glass lodged in it, Rose.' I replied, gently outlining said piece of glass without touching it

Rose sighed, but it was more like a calming breath and her voice was harsh when she spoke

'Get it out.'

My stomach dropped.

'What?'

'I said, get it out. Please' she said again, her voice still calm but she was shaking, with pain or cold or fear I didn't know, and I didn't want to cause any more pain. Hell I didn't even have a pair of tweezers!

'But … I'm not a doctor! I don't have anything to get it out with for a start! And I …'

She broke in

'Look' she said 'its right in my nerve, I can feel it. And let me tell you it fucking _hurts _Ok? So I need it out. ASAP'

I hesitated, and Rose sensed it 'Dimitri!'

'No, Rose I can't. I don't know how and … I might hurt you more.' I failed to mention that if it had been anyone _other_ than her then I would have taken it out. But this was _Rose _who looked so fragile right now, she needed a doctor.

But she wasn't going to like it.

I sighed and put on my strictest no nonsense voice 'I'm taking you to the clinic'

Receiving only minor grumbles I slid my arms underneath her as smoothly as possible, cradling her like a baby, I must have jolted a bit because she winced, I pressed my lips together in a silent apology that she probably sensed rather than saw.

The positioning were so reminiscent of the night Natalie attacked her that I glanced down worriedly when she plucked at my shirt, she obviously saw the similarity too because she smiled weakly at me. I forced the corners of my mouth upwards in return, noticing the pain that clouded her eyes.

She never could lie to me.

As I walked as quickly as I dared with Roza in my arms I thought of how this could have happened. And where the Hell was everyone? The corridors were deserted, not even the usual watch was on duty. My guard was painfully high, my alertness on full as I jogged. I noticed Roses eyelids start to flutter closed, I gave her the once over. She wasn't seriously injured as far as I could tell. And sleep was a healer.

'Sleep, my Roza' I said, holding her tighter as she drifted into unconsciousness.

My thoughts drifted back to Alice, who had been temporarily wiped from my mind

'You will lose her to the Darkness' she had said.

**There :) Please review and let me know what you all think**

**Did you like it? Was it ok? Have A Levels stolen all my creativity D:?**

**Tell me please ^^**

**Love you all**

**Tibbins xx**


	13. The Clinic

**Hey ^.^ Long time no write I know. I'm sorry. But I have been working on this chapter for weeks every chance I got and it is much longer than usual so I hope that makes up for it. **

**The usual disclaimer applies.**

**Oh and btw. . . I WAS RIGHT! I guessed the right ending of Last Sacrifice! :D I was so proud lol.**

**Oh yeah, this one is dedicated to several people, firstly to oOoO-PeAcE-LoVe-ALLY-OoOo or mickeymickeyVA seeing as they are the same person. **

**Also to Marylou23 if she's reading the sequel to the story she reviewed (and I really hope she is ;) ) **

**And to -Ice because they said I was getting better**

**I really hope the rest of you all feel the same **

**I really hope you like this chapter and forgive me for the whole taking forever to update thing**

**Enjoy**

Dimitri's POV

After a few minutes that felt like an age I reached the Clinic, Rose asleep in my arms, blue in hue and covered with blood. I clung to her for as long as I could before Doctor Olendzki came, took one look at her and whisked her away.

My arms felt cold and empty without her weight. Not that she was heavy, or warm. But morbid as it sounds it's more comforting and familiar than waiting outside, tense, worried, when she could be in my arms where she belonged.

It's the waiting I hate.

_She'll be ok._ I told myself, _this is Rose after all, she's strong. She'll pull through_

But I couldn't stop myself pacing, counting my steps.

Xxxx

486 steps later I heard footsteps lighter than my own; I started as Tasha's face peered around the wall

'Dimka? What are you doing here?'

A few students passed, looking around them furtively but not seeming to see me or Tasha; Tasha smiled at them as they scuttled around the corner. I sighed and stood, ready to reprimand and march them back to their dormitories but Tasha grabbed my arm

'Let them go and have some fun Dimka' she grinned, her icy eyes sparkling with mischief 'They didn't see you, and you'd terrify them'

'It's after curfew' I grunted but I let it go and turned back to face the door to the clinic

'Break the rules for once Dimitri' her tone was cutting

'Guardian Belikov'

A third voice cut in on my baffled reply and I whirled around

'Lady Ozera' Dr Olendzki inclined her head respectfully, I liked this woman; she never showed any shock to Tasha's scars or her reputation and always treated her with respect. Tasha smiled in return and gave me a look that said _we _will_ talk later_, turned and left, around the same corner that the students

'Tell me' I demanded as we walked back to the clinic, she looked uncomfortable, but confused, as if she wanted my judgement

'It's … Odd' she began. I groaned. Everything about Rose was 'Odd', usually in a good way, but when it was bad it was very, very bad. She could be a nursery rhyme.

'What is it?' I lowered my voice as we entered the room. Rose was lying in a bed, deathly pale and her dark hair flowed around her carefully framing her exotic features.

She was beautiful.

Dr Olendzki coughed and brought my attention back to her, and the glass vial she was holding.

'Look at this' she said, handing it to me

'its glass isn't it?' I said dismissively, giving it a glance, but the doctors wide eyes told me differently. 'No?' It would make sense; glass was the obvious choice, the logical answer. So of course it was wrong. I peered more closely at the material in the vial

'No' she agreed 'There _was_ glass, but it was in very deep and we found this … It's …'

'Ice.' I was certain of it now, it was too cloudy to be the clear glass from the gym windows, plus the vial was cold. I set it back down on the table

'Ice' She sighed 'And that's not all of it. It won't melt Guardian Belikov. We've put it in an oven, held it to a candle flame it doesn't even soften. And it's everywhere.'

'Everywhere?'

In Rose. I did tests, scans… It's … It's inside her. In her veins, her organs, around her muscles. It's not _normal_.'

She looked scared, she cared about Rose, and although she was a doctor this was out of her league. She couldn't explain this with science and that scared her.

I was scared too. As used to Rose and the un normal as I was, this was different. Bigger. More dangerous.

My eyes fell once again on the wilful young girl under the white sheets. And my heart clenched painfully in my chest at the thought of what was happening to her.

Dr Olendzki followed my gaze. I think she guessed, in that moment, all that had passed between the two of us, our entire relationship, and our love. And she didn't judge or call it out as wrong, she accepted it, and this probably made it even harder for her to say what she said next, in a voice as soft as her eyes that never left Rose's fragile form.

'It's killing her Dimitri.' And she left for her office, leaving us alone.

Xxx

After almost an hour of nothing, a small whimper made me step towards the bed. Rose stirred; her eyelids fluttering feebly as she visibly forced them open. I would let her get her bearings before I spoke

It was only then that I realised how scared I was that she wouldn't wake up, my face relaxed and I smiled in relief, and I started forward to sink into the chair next to her bed before I remembered where we where, and why we were here, and how I had found her and I felt the smile sliding off my face like water.

'What happened Rose?' I said gruffly

She appraised me curiously before pointedly ignoring my question

'I thought you were on vacation' she said, somewhat grumpily and I almost rolled my eyes

'I told you I wouldn't be going far; I was staying in the cabin.' She nodded distractedly and reached to the nape of her neck, before grimacing with a jolt.

'Rose?' I said worriedly, unsure how to break the news. I knew she'd kill me if I didn't tell her immediately 'Um …' I faltered, shifting my weight 'we got the glass out but it was difficult … and we found something else.'

She sat up properly as I reached over for the vial. I heard her gasp and knew that she already knew what it was so I didn't bother telling her

'It hasn't melted.' I pointed out 'And that wasn't all of it.' I hesitated. Unsure of how to phrase it sensitively, so unlike my normal, blunt self but that's what women like Rose do to you … And I could lose her.

'It's everywhere Rose, absolutely everywhere, wrapped around nerves and bone and muscle…' I could lose her.

Rose finished the hanging sentence, in her usual, forthright manner.

'And it's killing me'

I hated to hear her say it, her voice soft and the words sounded almost beautiful. But they weren't beautiful, they were deadly, and the reality of them made it hurt to look her in the eye. So, like the coward she has made me, I turned away and tried to pretend that it wasn't happening.

'What's causing it?'

'We don't know'

A pause

'What time is it?' I glanced at my wrist

'Nearly noon' I took her hand in mine

It was happening. It was all happening now, to this beautiful, strong, wilful woman that sounded so calm, so sure, so in control; and I had to look at her. I owed it to her to look her in those bottomless eyes and not hide anything from her, to show her the truth of what she would be leaving behind. And I would stay here, while she was gone, and I would once again return to a colourless existence; because I had to; because it was my _duty. _

_They come first._

And it's all my fault.

So I put my face in my hands, unworthy to gaze into her eyes

'You can't imaging how I feel right now Rose.' I said 'I'm so…' I searched for the right word 'ashamed of myself.'

This surprised her

'Why?'

I glanced up 'Because I didn't insist that you tell me what was wrong!' I cried 'because somehow… I could have prevented this! But most of all, because you have been suffering alone, and I didn't do anything!'

I ran a hand through my loose hair desperately

'Hey' she soothed as she reached out from under my hand to cup my cheek 'there is _nothing_ you could have done. And besides, I wasn't alone; you were there when I had nightmares, always.' I saw the flash of fear in her eyes as she mentioned the nightmares and heard the quiver in her voice, but I let her words comfort me and she stroked my cheek gently as I leaned into her touch.

This was why I loved her. Because she could prove me wrong, make me feel like a child, infuriate me, comfort me, impress me, terrify me and oh so many other things in the same hour. This was why I couldn't leave her, why I couldn't be with Tasha or anyone else; because nobody else could make me feel like this. Ever.

I stayed there for a while, knowing that she was enjoying the moment as much as I was, it was peaceful, tranquil, as if we just fell into a deeper level of understanding.

But I needed to know

I pulled away regretfully and one look at the disappointment in her face made the anger kindle once more

'You didn't answer my first question Rose.' I said, I moved from the chair to the bed and twisted my torso to take her shoulders, probably more roughly than I should have done and I repeated my question.

She ran her hand through her hair and took a deep breath. She evaded my eyes but I knew she was telling the truth, she just didn't want to.

'I … I was upset, I guess.' She stammered 'I went to the gym to train and on the way I passed the canteen and Lissa was there …' I gave her a disapproving look but didn't interrupt. 'I thought I'd say something, and maybe she'd … I don't know, forgive me I guess. But I came on stronger than I should' I groaned, I can only imagine how 'strong' she came on short of slapping her former best friend 'I know, I know' she waved me off 'But Lissa went too far'

A haunted look entered her eye, one so full of pain and regret that I knew instantly.

'She accused me of Masons death, she said it was my fault … And I … I just ran' She ducked her head in shame. 'I trained … for longer than I should, and then Lissa came in, it looked like she was going to forgive me but I was angry and I … kinda yelled at her' did Rose Hathaway look _sheepish?_ 'And she went. And then …' here it was; the main explanation 'Then Adrian came.'

She paused and took a deep breath

'It's him Dimitri, he's causing my nightmares, it's the dream thing he does, he can change everything about it, and he made it …' she swallowed 'horrible'

I could feel my jaw setting; Adrian Ivashkov had done this to my Roza.

'What happened then Rose?' I prompted, fighting to keep my voice calm

She hesitated, glancing up at me quickly and answering just as quickly

'He compelled me' she whispered

I froze, forcing myself not to react as she continued 'He made me think my nightmare was real … and then you got there. I don't know how long I was like that for' she shuddered, 'you know the rest.'

I nodded slightly and stood up, letting my anger out in a short burst of violent Russian expletives, Rose looked impressed and smug. I knew she'd been looking up Russian swear words on the internet.

'I have to do something about this' I said, mainly to myself, thinking about the satisfaction of breaking the skull of Adrian Ivashkov. I barely noticed the frightened look on Roses face as she leapt out of the bed, only her almost tripping on to my arm quelled my anger enough to stop and look down at her, and yes I was angry, Rose almost recoiled at my face, but she was safe from me, I would _never _hurt her, or let anything happen to her. _Bit late now _that Tasha voice in my head said, _she's dying. You can't save her now Dimitri._

I flinched.

'Don't … Don't leave me here.' She said desperately and although I knew she said it to stop me going to Adrian, her eyes betrayed the genuine vulnerability that she would never let her words convey. She needed me.

As if realising her mistake, she let go of my arm and stepped back, back to the Rose Hathaway that needed no one. Her voice was now all attitude and strength. 'I mean, not even Adrian deserves the wrath of a pissed off Russian God. And besides, you'll get in more trouble than he would. It's not worth it Comrade.'

I was more touched at her attempt of bravado than her words. I gave a small smile at her humour and nodded at her; when my heart broke for her inside.

'Will you walk me back to my room Comrade?' she said in a stupid accent

I laughed looking her up and down; in her backless hospital apron she looked beautifully bare.

'I know not many people are around this time of night, however I'm sure you'd feel better if you changed into something that covered your … back'

She suddenly looked down at herself and the slightest hint of colour rushed to her cheeks. Then she turned to head back to her cubicle, threw her head back and grinned cheekily over her shoulder 'I thought you liked looking' she winked, causing me to gulp

'Oh I do' I retorted, looking as I did so. She pulled the curtain across … unfortunately. Damn I was such a man. I rolled my eyes at myself, before stopping suddenly, and my heart sank.

Rose was sobbing behind the curtain, so quietly that I wouldn't have heard if I hadn't been so in tune with her that I could pick out her breathing from the other side of a crowded room.

The realisation that she needed me rose up into my throat. And the realisation of something else, that I had always known but at first tried to deny.

I needed her too.

And she was dying.

**So ... There it is. Do you like it? Do you forgive me?**

**Please please review to let me know. Any hints or tips that will improve my writing?**

**Anything at all?**

**Please review to let me know**

**I love you all**

**Tibbins xx**


	14. The Cabin

**Hey everyone :D It's been forever since my last update to this story I know, and I apologize profusely ... Forgive me?**

**I don't own Vampire Academy but if Dimitri Belikov can own me any time ;)**

**This chapter is for Ashterbowden and cupcake gueen and all the rest of you for being so patient with me ^.^**

**Hope you enjoy**

Dimitri's POV

I decided to take her back to the cabin; the place where we often rendezvoused when we bumped into each other, looking for a respite at the same time. We didn't speak much. Rose assumed I was taking her to her room and didn't seem to notice the route we took. No one was around, and we were both lost in our own thoughts; whenever I spared a glance at her, her eyes were far away and she chewed on her lower lip, she seemed to be worrying about something, and then a small smile would pass over her face before the worry returned. Well it wasn't as if I could blame her, she had plenty to worry about.

I was trying to avoid thinking about what Adrian had done to her, there was being angry at someone, there was turning their dreams into Hell … and of course there was ripping out someone's intestines to garrotte them with. I tried not to draw _too_ much vindictive pleasure from that thought, but it was hard not to when I saw the true extent of what he had done. I frowned as I stared at a fixed point in the distance, barely noticing the sunset. He hadn't just given Rose nightmares that scared her shitless and made her punch through a window; he had made her feel vulnerable and dependent. And for Rose, _that _was worse than any physical or dream thing anyone could conjure up. Rose was aptly named; she was not the kind of flower that people picked for the sake of her being there, made chains out of, and discarded. She was the flower that would fight back; her thorns made her deadly, her beauty, enticing. She was the very symbol of love and people treasured her for the most special of occasions; and as long as she knew it, she would stand tall and proud and not be uprooted. But if she doubted in herself, if she felt as if she may need help, then she would wilt and give up the fight. And I would _not _let that happen.

As I was off on my rose musings, choosily ignoring the fact that Rose hated roses, I heard the dhampir Rose cough slightly. I glanced down at her and she forced a smile in my direction; I slipped an arm around her and squeezed gently, hoping to comfort; which was a lot more than I would usually do in public, despite there being nobody about, but I had a feeling that she needed the contact right now. I had to water my Rose and make her strong again … and I really had to stop with the rose references or my Roza would probably force feed me some.

Later on and I was soothing Roza's hair as she lay in my lap on the small couch in the cabin. Her beautiful, dark, luscious hair; it was probably my favourite physical feature of hers, but her bottomless eyes were a close second. She was just so beautiful that I would have been content to stare at her forever.

Unfortunately, Yeva's voice of reason reminded me that we probably both needed to talk about this life altering news.

'So …' I began, not knowing what to say now that the silence was broken

Rose sat up and glared at me, it seemed that she too was enjoying the moment

'So what Dimitri?' she said hotly 'What is there to say? That I'm dying?' I cringed, not wanting to hear it 'Newsflash I _know_!'

I looked down at my lap, my hands clenched together, trying not to think about looking up and her not being there. I heard her sigh

'Look' she said softly, I met her eyes and we both hesitated for a heartbeat

'I'm here now, and so are you. Lissa will probably come around soon and I'm pretty sure that things will go back to normal' she was lying. I could tell, I could always tell. She could never truly lie to me. But it was a comforting lie, one I wanted so badly to believe. But I couldn't. _Never take the easy option or you will regret it for ever_ was one of Yeva's favourite old sayings, one that I tried to live my life by.

'Roza, I promise you that I will do everything I can to help you. And I promise that I won't leave you to …' I couldn't finish, but I didn't need to. I meant every word that I could and couldn't speak. Rose looked like she was about to cry, instead, she kissed me.

Then she drew back and shot a small but joyful smile in my direction that took my breath away

'I can think of worse ways to go' she breathed, and she leant in for another, longer kiss.

'Roza' I moaned into her mouth. I loved this woman, I loved her so much that …

She shuddered suddenly, drawing back and gasping, confusion and surprise on her features, her hand shot to the nape of her neck. Where the Ice had been

'Rose?' her eyes darted in my direction

'I… I can feel' she whispered, letting out a breathy laugh 'I felt warm.'

Hope stirred within me, wanting to believe that this had all just been a blip in our lives that was now over; insignificant and inexplicable and wrong, but not daring to.

Then her grin slid from her lips, disappointment replaced it, and her hand fell to her lap

'I … I thought …'

I know what she thought. She had thought that it was all over, that nothing was wrong, that this was another spirit dream. Then she woke up, and nothing was different.

I pulled her into me, wrapping my arms around her and stroking her hair 'I know' I murmured gently 'I know'

'I promise I'll protect you Roza' I vowed

There was a pause

'Even you can't save me from myself Comrade' I bit my lip

Another pause

'About Adrian …' the silence was getting to me, holding a motionless Rose was disconcerting, and unhappily familiar.

'Don't' she warned 'Just don't'

'Look, Rose, I can't just let him get away with this! He hurt you.'

She gave me a look that told me I was an idiot.

'You didn't see you Rose… It was terrifying'

'No.' she snapped sarcastically 'I just saw and _felt_ my worst nightmare coming true! You had it so much worse!'

I looked down, mollified.

'I'm sorry' she said 'that came out all wrong.'

I waved her apology away

XXX

'Lessons will be starting soon' Rose said, as she stared out the window. The darkness settled on her face, almost as if she was a shadow. Agony ripped through me at that thought; fresh and raw pain that this promising young woman who had so much potential and so much _life _might soon be gone as quickly as blinking. I shook myself to get rid of the image of Rose fading away into the night, refusing to remember Alice's words.

As I moved, Rose winced slightly. I brought our cheeks together and reached around her to clasp her hand.

'What are you thinking?' I asked, Rose gasped a little before replying

'I'm thinking that if I die tomorrow, my only regrets will be that Lissa, Christian and Adrian will think … well you know. I will never be able to tell you that I love you enough, and that Mason died. Oh and I guess that I never really got to know my Mom. But yeah, that's it.'

I clutched her tighter to me but kept my voice steady, refusing to be baited.

'Well that's not many'

'No' she agreed, 'I guess I always did live for the moment.' I felt her grin against my cheek but remained stoic, almost flinching at her choice of words

'Do' I amended

'Huh?'

'Do, not did. You're still alive Roza. And you still have time to figure this out and fix this' I didn't need to say 'we' we were as each other, and so, joined too closely to have the need to be referred to as separate people. Our connection ran too deep.

'But what if we can't?'

'We will' I was trying to convince myself, brain already working overtime to come to terms with what was happening. Dr Olendzki would have known if there was a medical cure and I was sure she would work on one. We had to come at this from another angle. As coming from another being, more supernatural; I had grown up with knowledge about magic and in a home with faith in the Lord. As I grew up I became less of a believer but my first year in the field had sent me running back to the comfort of the church. My first Strigoi had caused me to pray for my soul. I hated killing, even when needed. As time went on it became easier to accept that this feeling would never go away, but I became accustomed to it, realised that it was necessary and relied on it to prove that my soul had not been lost. But even my beliefs hadn't prepared me for Rose. Since meeting her I had become to believe in ghosts, something I hadn't even fallen for when I was a child. So being more open minded than I was a year ago, I resolved to research every mythical creature, ritual and spell until I found the cause of this.

'But what if we can't?' she pressed

_Don't make me think about it _I begged inside my head _don't make me answer that question when I can't even face the possibility myself_

I sighed in response, letting out all of my despair in that breath.

Rose contemplated for a minute more and then took a shaky breath of her own as she turned around to face me, with a look in her eye that begged me to understand.

'I'm scared'

I immediately drew her to me and gently stroked her hair as she leant into my chest. It was a sad day when Rose Hathaway admitted to weakness, and to her, fear was the worst kind of weakness; one she never acknowledged or succumbed to. But now she had, and that thought was more terrifying than anything else

'I know' I whispered softly, squeezing my eyes shut as if trying to awaken from a nightmare 'I know'

**So there it is ... Please bear with me with updates because they wont be frequent. **

**Reviews make me write faster ... scientific fact ;)**

**Please let me know what you think**

**I love you all**

**Love Tibbins xx**


	15. Patrol

**Please don't hit me ... I know it's been like ... YEARS since I last updated this but I made a promise to XxdudealiciousxX who very nicely reviewed and asked me to update ... so I dd ^.^**

**I hope you all like it, it might be a little rusty.**

**Dedicated to XxdudealiciousxX for getting me back into it **

**I don't own VA :( Richelle Mead does ... BUT I WANT DIMITRI!**

Chapter 15

After a few more moments, Rose pulled away and grinned and she was back,

'Come on Comrade' she teased 'I have Stan to annoy'

I chuckled and followed up to the school, where we each went our separate ways.  
I stood guard in a Moroi classroom and allowed my thoughts to wander back to the girl I had reluctantly let go.

At the moment, I resented not being in her training, it was unprofessional of me but I wanted to spend all my time with her; Just in case … But no amount of time with Rose would ever be enough, and I wouldn't be able to save her if all I did was worry.

It was also lucky for Adrian that he wasn't technically a student, and that the only classes he went to were his Spirit lessons with Lissa. He was also lucky that he was an alcoholic because chances were he wouldn't be wandering around the corridors where I would run into him. Only my promise to Rose had stopped me from seeking him out already.

That and the fact that I didn't have a break until lunch, which I spent in the dining hall, overseeing the students, Adrian wasn't there, but Rose was and I caught her eye as much as I could without it being obvious, trying to send her comfort. Judging by her small smirk, it worked somewhat.

After my shift was over, a few hours before sunrise, I returned to my room. I had an hour or so before I had to patrol the school. I was both waiting for, and dreading it. I knew that when I passed past Rose's room I would have the temptation to look.

There were spare keys to all of the rooms of course, kept by the guardians on their wards, the keys were rotated around guardians nightly (or daily) due to shifts and it had been easy to snag Rose's. I had had another one made and replaced it before someone noticed. It wasn't likely of course, there were a lot of keys, but with the fact that Rose and trouble go hand in hand, that key had been used before. I couldn't risk the possibility of her being in danger with no one to get to her. Nevertheless I had the duplicate key in the draw of my bedside table.

I made my way to the dhampir dorms later on and after a few rounds I heard whimpering coming from Rose's room. Another nightmare? I let myself in, making sure that nobody saw me doing so and took my place at her bedside. As soon as I did she sat bolt upright, her mouth in a perfect 'o' and eyes wide with terror. I waited until she came to her senses and then pulled her into my chest; she breathed my name and clung to me. I tightened my grip on her, inhaling her scent, trying to be strong for both of us.

Eventually she pulled back and smiled at me. I frowned as I noticed a fresh bruise on her cheek, there were a couple of scratches on her neck too, that hadn't been there before and where her sleeve had pulled up there were more bruises that Adrian had not given her.

'Where did they come from Rose?' I asked. She looked confused for a second before touching her cheek

'These?' I nodded,

'Just training' she laughed, but there was something akin to guilt in her eye and I knew she wasn't telling me the whole story. I frowned again as she leant back into me, but didn't push the subject. It was usual for bruises in training after all. Even though the cheek was above the guidelines, accidents happen. At least they weren't serious.

'What's wrong?' Rose asked, breaking into my thoughts, I jumped and smiled down at her sadly.

'I'm fine Roza' I replied, she was worrying about _me _at a time like this? All of my own thoughts revolved around her 'I think we need to worry about you at the moment' Rose just scowled playfully at me and let it go.

I kissed her before I left, my patrol should have moved down to the yard by now and if someone decided to inspect … then I would be caught. That kiss was enough to keep me warm without a jumper so I jogged straight to the courtyard, managing to avoid the other guardians on patrol. I got to where I was supposed to be and continued walking as if I had been there all along. But my thoughts kept drifting upwards, back to Rose.

Novice training was rough. It had to be. There was no point in teaching novices to be afraid of pain or of hurting their enemy. Strigoi were not forgiving creatures, and they would not return any mercy shown to them. As such, novices were taught to hurt each other, they were taught how to kill each other (although that was an extremely rare occurrence) seeing as there was a remote possibility of them _becoming _the enemy.

Matinova saw over Rose's training sessions I knew. He was one of those guardians that cared more about himself then the novices; and Rose's quick tongue could shoot down anyone's ego. I was well aware of the rumours circulating about Rose, and unlike Moroi, dhampirs were rarely content to talk.

The thought of other novices ganging up on Rose made my blood boil. But there was a grim satisfaction that she would and could beat them all. She was by far the best novice at this school. She was by far the best novice at this school, and I had no doubt that she gave double what she got.

But Rose was in a fragile place right now. And I was still no closer to finding a cure. I had spent my brief break trawling the internet for anything resembling what Rose had; but there was nothing. I then began to think about anyone who could have in any way shape or form done anything to Rose. There were quite a few suspects, myself included. Anyone she had any kind of contact with. I narrowed it down to Moroi with a grudge against her, the symptoms probably being some form of power, but the list was still annoyingly long. It also occurred to me that dhampirs could have hired Moroi to wield magic on her … and the list grew again.

I had no other way to narrow it down . . . except . . . Perhaps the _type_ of Moroi. Ice was water wasn't it? And it was cold. So that ruled out earth and air. It still left fire, water and spirit users though, but the list was at least shorter. I made a mental note to write this list down at some point, perhaps I could make it into a diagram, the Moroi and the dhampirs who had contact with them.

It was still a long list, but the lower school and those not yet come into their powers were crossed off. It had to be someone older. I continued my patrol, lost in thought, perhaps it meant nothing, but I had to follow it up anyway.

**So? ... *bites lip* am I forgiven?**

**Please forgive me ... I'll try and update soon but life is very hectic and stressfull and I have other fics to complete too and AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! So who knows.**

**But thanks for reading :)**

**Hope you like it**

**Love Tibbins xx**


	16. On the Bench

**Hey guys. So it's been absolutely forever since I updated this and I'm really sorry. Please don't hurt me D:**

**This one is dedicated to romitrifeels for giving me the nudge I needed to churn this one out.**

**I know it's only short but I'm hoping it's ok**

**Enjoy ^_^**

Chapter 16

It was one of those nights that I went on patrol for lack of something else to do. My snatches of research had yielded nothing. Apparently, nothing like this had ever happened before so trying to figure out who was behind it was proving to be an impossible task. At about midnight (or midday to humans) I passed by the stone bench in the courtyard that could be seen from Rose's window. I looked up, almost hoping to see her grin and wave at me, knowing that she had stayed up just because she knew I'd be by.

Then I shook myself, she was sleeping. She needed that. Although her sleeping had been interrupted lately. My hands balled into fists without me realising and I really wanted to punch something, preferably something called Adrian. I had never really gotten along with the royal but he had never seemed so petty and vindictive as to turn all of Rose's dreams into nightmares. And Lissa had turned her back on her best friend too when Rose needed her the most. What was_ wrong_ with everyone? Why were they all acting completely out of character where Rose was concerned? It was just weird. I sat down on the bench for a moment to try and sort out these problems. I myself had turned away from Rose at the beginning, and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. I barely even remember thinking badly of her although I know I did. I had believed Lissa over Rose and could have stopped this from escalating when instead, I turned away.

My hand touched something that wasn't stone, I turned to look, it was a notebook, open. I picked it up and looked at the page, maybe it had a name on it, if not, I could take it to the lost and found.

_My Headstone_

_Here lies Rose 'Badass' Hathaway_

_She will tell Satan you say 'hi' and hopes you will be joining her soon_

_[DATE]_

My stomach dropped about three inches and I had to swallow hard. My hands shook as I stared at the notebook. Almost without thinking I ripped that page out and tore and tore it until it was no more than confetti. My Roza's headstone. This was something I would have been happy to joke about with her, if she was well or if we were in our 90s together. But now? When she was so young and vulnerable? This took on a darker tone than the joke it had probably been.I couldn't help but imagine it, plain, grey stone, polished but not ornate, and these last words to sum up a life, lost in the mass of others. It was an image that I knew would haunt me for a long time to come.

I noticed a pen, lying on the edge of the woods. Roses perhaps, once she had written this. I went over to pick it up, then returned to the bench, twirling the implement in my fingers. I wanted to write her something in Russian, the script was just nicer to look at, it would feel more personal and the image of her face if I did made me smile, but I figured she could do without one more complication in her life. I tapped the pen against the paper, thinking. What should I write? What _could_ I write in response to her headstone? What could possibly make her feel better about her situation? Maybe I could write something supportive, that shows her I'm with her, no matter what.

I poised the pen over the paper and let the words flow

_I WON'T let you die Roza._

_I love you._

_D_

It was short and simple. But it summed up everything that I felt. I stored the book and pen in my pocket to give to her later. I could go now of course but I didn't want to wake her.

Suddenly, for a reason I couldn't explain, once I got up to continue my patrol, I was drawn to the edge of the woods where I found the pen. There was some flattened grass and almost a trail carved out, leading deeper into the trees. I stared for a moment, brow furrowed. It must have just been a fox or something,I knew. But even as I turned away, I couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right.

I finished patrol at around one and I had finally started to feel fatigued. I went back to my room, knowing that I had to be up in about six hours anyway, and slept.

**So like I said ... short. **

**Let me know what you think. I've been really trying to write better. And criticism is welcome, how else will I learn? **

**Love you all**

**Love Tibbins xx**


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